“Innalillahi wainna ilaihi rojiun”. Everything comes from Allah and will back to Allah. Each single thing that is alive will die.

There is happiness and Sadness in Life. There is lough and Tears in Life. There is birth and  death in Life. That’s Life. That’s the secret of Life. Everything happens mysteriously. Even, we do not know what will be happened by tomorrow, we do not know whether we will be happy or sad. Life is really unpredictable and uncontrollable. Because we are controlled by the highest -level controller, that is Allah.

Today, May 12 2010, in the end of the day.  When the twilight fades and night is emerging. I am truly saddened by H Iskandar Death. I still heard his voices yesterday, but today He passed way forever. H Iskandar is My Rented-House Father. Where for more than 6 months I lived in. He was more than my Rented-House Father, but also teacher for me. I used to be taught by him, “Lecturing Kitab Kuning” in each time after Maghrib Prayer. He lectured me about Hadith and Fiqih ( Law in Islam). This “Kitab Kuning” lecture will be getting more intensive in Ramadlan Month. I really can not forget this fruitful memories with Him, it will always remain deep within my heart.

I can not say anything, but express my deepest condolence for his passing away and My sincere thoughts and prayers are with you H Iskandar.  I realy feel evanescence of you. Bon Voyage ! Allah blesses you in your second Life! May Allah forgives all your mistakes and May Allah give your  eternal rest and may your soul rest in peace.Amminn.

With deepest sympathy,

Cak Shon

To tell you the truth, it refers to a girl named : May, Dewi Mayasari Huehe….

Have you got my formal Signature? It is very cool right :D. Right now, I have two signatures : the first one is the formal one as I signed in legal formal document, and the second one is the informal one, but it is the most commonly-used one that is the arabic version of my name : “mukhlason”.  May I was the only freak one in this world having two different signature use commonly.

I am telling you here my formal signature one. I signed it for my ID Card, for my degree certificate and for my any legal formal document. As shown in above-figured picture, it is my signature. It looks so weird and strange, right? It doesn’t indicate my name at all. There is a secret behind this Signature. Bellow is the story:

When I was young and I was senior high school student,  I am firstly deeply fallen in love with a girl. She was  not too beautiful, but she was too special for me since in the first sight. Apparently, She knew that I love her, and  I knew from her  body language that she had the same feeling. But, this kind of love feeling is never revealed. But, this kind of feeling is never told.

I firstly met her in welcome ceremony in my school, and I lastly met her in the farewell ceremony out my school. Between in and out school, there are so many unforgetable nice stories in my mind.  I dont know why, she is so very special for me, since I first met her. She is a girl come from Papua (but, actually his father and mother is javanese and sundanese respectively). There is story when we were in one class. In that class,  although we were  in different desk, but we  intentionally sat in the same chair. She wrote for me, and I write for her. We were in the “lucky” school that  time, Our school is in pesantren i.e. islamic dormitory, in which relationship between guys and girls is strictly prohibitted.

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again, my love
Overseas from coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again, my love

To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from the heart
You’re all I’m thinking of

I’m reaching for a love seem so far

(Westlife)

Life and Love, two things that are hardly can  be separated.  Even, our first ancestor : Adam and Hawa (Eve), met in this world because of Love. Because of love, we can feel this world beautifully.

When did I firstly, know Love?

Love from my Mom and Dad, definitely.  My grand father, grand mother, siblings, and from all my families that show me the meaning what love is. When, I was teenager, I knew love from my friends, I knew love from my teachers. Then, when I was guy, I was firstly knew love from my girl friend. That’s the most memorable thing in my life. That’s when I firstly fallen in love with my girl friend. Oghh… that was what it was beautiful love.

Sometime, I can not differ between Love and Sexual desire. But, then love frequently comes and goes on, while  life keeps on  flowing away.  Eventually, I knew that Love is not always  as beautiful as what we think about it. Finally, I realized that our lover doesn’t always around us, that our lover doesn’t always beside us when we need it, and Love will be always be Love.

Is It the True Love?

Now, I am man. I am not teenager or guy anymore.  I have chosen a girl for my life. A girl that will be always in my side starting from next month. A girl that will share her life with me. A girl that will be my Life-mate to live this rest of my life. A girl that will make a family with me. However, I still wonder whether She is the right one, whether she is the best one for me, whether I sincerely love her? I do not fully know about this feeling. I just believe, God never makes mistake in giving me something.

I am happy, but I am afraid.

Leaving from single status to married status is questionable for me. I have been accustomed to lead this life lonely. I am not sure whether share with other to life together, even to share everything together is easy for me.  I am not sure, whether I will be a good lover, a good friend, a good husband, a good father, a good leader at the right time for my wife and my family. The thing that I hold tightly is I Just “believe”. I just believe that Times will teach me.  I just believe God will guide me.

Oh Ya Allah, Barakallahu Lana. Rabbana Hablana, min ajwajina wadzuriatina quraata a’yun waj’alna lilmuttaqina Imaman.

Ya Allah Bless Us !  Oh God make my wife, my children, my family a happiness  for us ! Make them a pearl in my heart and eyes! that will make us getting closer to you, that make us getting better in loving You, not its “vice versa”.  Because I know, You and only you the ultimate love of love Ya Allah….. You are the final destination of this love,  in this life and life after this life.

Thank you Allah. Alhamdulilah for this Love. I am waiting for that day and the days after that day.