Reading and Writing are supposed to be complement for each other. A good reader is supposed to be a good writer then. I am happy, I am good reader [at least based in my own mind :p ] . But, I am still unhappy to know that I am not a good writer , and a part away to be named a professional writer. Someday, in my future time Insya Allah.

One of my ambitions in this life is to be a professional writer. but, this ambition is yet to be realized until now. I do not know how to start it. Many things I think resist me to realize this ambitions. Many times, my desire come with willingness to write article in newspaper and to write book as well. But, as the time gone the desire is faded out away.

I think many negative thinking  insist in my mind that resist me to realize this ambition.  Sometime I feel I should to be a very expert first, getting a Ph. D degree first, even to be professor first, before being a professional writer. But, finally I realize what the fact reveal that not all professors are good writers and its vice versa not all professional or good writers are Master degree, Ph.D,  or Professor holder.  It means to be good and professional writer no need to wait till I get those degree.

So, what should to do right now?

I have read many books regarding writing tips and tricks, some of the books give detail tips and tricks but some of them give a simple tips. I more agree on the later book. I think the effective way to be writer is to be a good reader first. No one in this world can generate a new knowledge genuinely from his/her self.  Someone get the knowledge from others first, then conclude and improve those knowledge. One effective way to elicit knowledge is by reading. Not only reading book, newspaper, blog, or any information from  internet but also reading situation and condition of the environment surround us.  If you have been a good reader. It is not too difficult to be good writer. That’s what some tips and tricks said. The next step is Just write it up now. Never aware how is the quality of what you have written is. The final steps are revision, revision, revision,………………. till you feel happy with what you have written.

It sounds easy to be a writer. But, I am sure it is not so easy to do. As an academic staff, I am urged to write scientific books. Although, I feel more joyful to write a fiction book such as a Novel. In a Novel I am not only can express and write what in my brain is, but I also can express and write what in my soul, my heart are .  What I heard and I saw too in my own way, breaking any rules such as what in scientific book should obey.

So, the problem is how start it? or in other words, how to make it getting started.  Sometime, it is much more difficult to manage ourselves than manage others. To push ourselves is not an easy thing. I remember how I can write 6 papers during my Master studies. It is great for me, when my paper is accepted in some  international conferences or journals. How I can do it? The answer is,  it is just because I was pushed by my supervisor.

When there is no one push us? Who should we expect to push Us? Oh God, guide my hand and brain to write up.  Give me a great willingness and energize me to write book in order to give more contributions for others.  I manage to write scientific book for nurturing science and knowledge in Indonesia academic atmosphere. Amin…

The journey of my Life as lecturer has gone around a half of semester. So far, I enjoy this journey. I am feeling happy within this education community, Teaching - Learning - Researching - and Servicing community.  Information System Department, Institut Teknologi Sepuluh Nopember (ITS).  I proud to be part of it. It is  a comfortable environment in my mind. An environment that encourage me to be as I am. An environment that never make me feel under pressure. Sometime, I wonder whether under pressure make me better or worse for me. I know that someone usually shows better performance under pressure. But, certainly I know that I can only enjoy this life, when I am not in under pressure.

During this journey, frequently I wonder to my self. Whether I can be a qualified Lecturer. Is this profession good and suitable for me? or should I change this profession to another that more suitable for me. Being a profit-oriented company employee in another case. Sometime, it is not easy to find and know better my self. It is not easy to know what the thing that is worse, better, and best for me. Till I try it, and know how the end is. The thing I believe much is I will get the best  from  my profession, If  I am happy and joyful with my profession. Since, I am happy to be lecturer,  then I strongly sure I will get the best in this profession.

Now, let me evaluate my self.  Let me show you whether  I have done the right way as Lecturer.  Let me show you whether I have been a good lecturer  and teach well to the student. One indicator is the examination result. In last couple weeks,  the Mid Semester Test have been held. And Let me show you How the result is. It is very very bad you know. I teach two subjects for two classes this semester:

Management Sciences : This course is prior known as Operation Research. Using mathematics approach to solve optimization problems. It is strongly not Management course that discuss social and business aspects, but much more in mathematics. And the average Mid Semester Result is 38.42 out 100.00. It is very bad, because the students will pass if they got grade greater or equal to 60.00. And only five students got passed grade. Only one student got very good grade, 93.00 out 100.00.

Intelligent System: This course best-known as the most difficult course in Information System Department. Even, minor lecturers can and want to teach this course. It is discuss much on algorithm, mathematics, and statistics. How System (program) can learn in term of they can infer rule automatically from the training data is the main concern of this course. That’s why sometime this course is called Machine Learning. Good logic, mathematics (derivation of formulas), and statistics is strongly required to be success in this course. And How the result is. The average Mid Sem Test grade is only 31.36 out 100.00. No student got grade greater or equal to 60.00 and Only 3 students got grade greater than 50 but less than 60.00.

I am sad to know it and feel guilty to this matter. It Should there are somethings wrong in my Lecture.  It means that I am yet to be good lecturer for my students, isn’t it? It means that I am yet to be capable to be lecturer? May be, Yes. But, I think it is still in my  early begining of my journey. It is premature, to judge my self. Give me a further chance to make me better.  Getting better by the times.